Morality: It is what it is.

“Rules against murder, theft, and lying codified by the Ten Commandments were intended to apply only within a cooperating group for the purpose of enabling that group to compete successfully against other groups. In addition, this in-group morality has functioned, both historically and by express intent, to create adverse circumstances between groups by actively promoting murder, theft, and lying as tools of competition. Contemporary efforts to present Judeo-Christian in-group morality as universal morality defy the plain meaning of the texts upon which Judaism and Christianity are based.

http://www.lrainc.com/swtaboo/taboos/ltn01.html

Blue is blue, and yellow is yellow – right? Yes. No. Maybe…

When you think about logic, morality, personality, or self awareness – you have to first think about where it all comes from: the human brain. You don’t think of self awareness first, or logic first, and then think about how the brain works as an afterthought. It’s the other way around. In this case, morality is the egg, not the chicken.

Although the brain is still a very complicated organ to us, we’re learning more and more about it every day. And the more we learn about it, the more we realize it is not all that different from a really simple brain of a really simple animal, or a really complicated computer created by a really complicated human.

• “Human Brain Region Functions Like a Digital Computer” http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/10/061005222628.htm

• "The ragworm’s brain, which evolved some 600 million years ago, is so similar to the cortex that humans and worms must share a common ancestor.” http://discovermagazine.com/2011/jan-feb/12

A Master Manipulator

We’re also learning about how the brain constantly manipulates our reality.

Check out this experiment about how we view colors:

• “Those early experiments showed that everyone we tested has the same color experience despite this really profound difference in the front-end of their visual system,” says Hofer. “That points to some kind of normalization or auto-calibration mechanism—some kind of circuit in the brain that balances the colors for you no matter what the hardware is.” In a related experiment, Williams and a postdoctoral fellow Yasuki Yamauchi, working with other collaborators from the Medical College of Wisconsin, gave several people colored contacts to wear for four hours a day. While wearing the contacts, people tended to eventually feel as if they were not wearing the contacts, just as people who wear colored sunglasses tend to see colors "correctly" after a few minutes with the sunglasses. The volunteers' normal color vision, however, began to shift after several weeks of contact use. Even when not wearing the contacts, they all began to select a pure yellow that was a different wavelength than they had before wearing the contacts. “Over time, we were able to shift their natural perception of yellow in one direction, and then the other,” says Williams. “This is direct evidence for an internal, automatic calibrator of color perception. These experiments show that color is defined by our experience in the world, and since we all share the same world, we arrive at the same definition of colors.” http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/10/051026082313.htm

The colors you see around you, though they may be the same ones your human peers see, are still a product of your brain. They are independent of reality; your brain manipulates what your eyes see, and changes it to suit your surroundings and experiences.
You can’t and do not see reality for what it is. This is by nature’s design.

And more…

• “There is actually a blind spot on your eye that does not see anything. An optic nerve gets in the way, effectively blocking your vision. Our eyes can't see anything in this blind spot, but our brain makes up what should be there. This is why we don't notice the blind spot.” http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/188440/the_blind_spot_does_our_brain_see_things.html?cat=5

• “Brain Filters Out Noise for Selective Hearing.” http://www.medindia.net/news/Brain-Filters-Out-Noise-for-Selective-Hearing-66444-1.htm

And morality can get distorted, too…

• “Magnets can change your moral values.” http://discovermagazine.com/2011/jan-feb/80

Why’d You Have To Go And Make Things So Complicated?

To understand how the human brain – and thus, morality – has evolved, you first have to understand evolution. I totally agree that there are missing gaps in our theory of evolution, just as there are for gravity, and that new evidence could totally transform our thinking. But so far, it’s our best guess. And we can actually make it happen in labs, time and time again…. Just look at your artificially selected best friend, the dog!

• “Singing mouse made with genetic modification.” http://news.discovery.com/animals/mouse-tweets-genetic-modification-101221.html

• “A study in evolution: foxes turned into man’s best friend.” http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/a-study-in-evolution-foxes-turned-into-mans-best-friend-482442.html

• “Studying the new sequence of the canine genome shows how tiny genetic changes can create enormous variation within a single species.” http://www.americanscientist.org/issues/feature/2007/5/genetics-and-the-shape-of-dogs

In a nutshell, evolution goes like this…

1. DNA does indeed get mutated. This is a fact, not an opinion. Whether it’s weird mistakes by nature, weird effects the of the environment (chemicals, pollution, etc), all of the above, or something else that is causing this to happen…is a moot point. It happens, whether we understand why or not.
2. When a genetic mutation is beneficial to reproduction (in other words, an animal is able to survive better, and thus have offspring), that genetic mutation gets passed on. This is not a theory. Breeders really do handpick dogs to breed based on traits they prefer, and sometimes they’ll keep breeding waiting on unique, new traits to evolve…
3. Mutations keep happening, over and over. For millions and millions of years.
   

And humans are still evolving.

• “Human genes involved in metabolism, skin pigmentation, brain function and reproduction have evolved in response to recent environmental changes, according to a new study of natural selection in the human genome.” http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn8812-many-human-genes-evolved-recently.html

• “Humans Have Evolved Specialized Skills of Social Cognition: The Cultural Intelligence Hypothesis” http://www.sciencemag.org/content/317/5843/1360.full

• “Evolution never stops… Today a teenager’s brain processes more information in an hour than our forefathers did in their entire lifetime.” http://addingup.org/2009/05/19/human-brain-still-evolving/

• A new study has found that duplicated and deleted pieces of DNA in a number of different genes play a role in the development of autism, said study co-author Rita M. Cantor, a professor of genetics and psychiatry at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Autism/autisms-genetic-light-study/story?id=10867596

• “Do you like to do good things for other people? If so, your genes might be responsible for this. At least, the results of a study conducted by researchers of the University of Bonn suggest this. According to the study, a minute change in a particular gene is associated with a significantly higher willingness to donate. People with this change gave twice as much money on average to a charitable cause as did other study subjects.” http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/11/101108072309.htm

Mind Control

Now that we’ve established that human evolution happened and is still happening, it’s a little strange to isolate the brain – arguably our very best adaptation, most highly evolved organ – as somehow independent of this whole process of life that every other species is still tied to. How does that even make sense to do?

So, there are two things now that we need to look at: your sense of Self, and your sense of Morality. You say that due to your self awareness, you are in control of things. And also, you say that Morality is this objective, universal thing.

Well, both Self and Morality are products of your brain, and of course just like your brain, they have evolved over time. Just like the brain creates colors for us, it also creates our sense of Self, Morality, all that jazz…

• “This study shows that the brain distinguishes the self from the non-self by comparing information from the different senses. In a way you could argue that the bodily self is an illusion being constructed in the brain. Disorders such as schizophrenia and stroke often involve impaired self-perception where, for example, a woman might try to throw her left leg out of bed every morning because she believes the leg belongs to someone else.” http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3856051.stm

• “The ability to recognize oneself in a mirror is an exceedingly rare capacity in the animal kingdom. To date, only humans and great apes have shown convincing evidence of mirror self-recognition. Two dolphins were exposed to reflective surfaces, and both demonstrated responses consistent with the use of the mirror to investigate marked parts of the body. This ability to use a mirror to inspect parts of the body is a striking example of evolutionary convergence with great apes and humans.” http://www.pnas.org/content/98/10/5937.long

Science Is Subjective

The more we learn, the more we see science as a tool...hardly some Be All and End All.

• "Do Physical Laws Vary from Place to Place?" http://discovermagazine.com/2011/jan-feb/46

So, yes, I totally agree that there is science to Self and Morality, and so in that sense, you really can talk about it objectively and all humans can come to the same agreement, for the most part. But it’s still subjective.

Self and Morality did not even exist in early human history (or before humans were humans). And it may not exist in the future. It’s something that was created by one species on one planet in one short span of time – for purposes of survival, and that’s about as universal as it gets. And you know what? We can even compare our sense of Self and Morality, however novel they seem, to other animals.

• “Elephants mourn their dead.” http://animal.discovery.com/news/briefs/20051031/elephant.html

• “Scientist finds the beginnings of morality in primate behavior.” http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/science/20moral.html

CONCLUSION!

Morality is an environmental adaption of one highly intelligent species on one planet that's only been around for a short while. And just like any other environmental adaptation, or species, it can malfunction, and it can go away or change in the blink of the cosmos' eye. Just because morality hasn't run out of its evolutionary purpose yet, doesn't mean it won't and can't evolve to new circumstances, or peter out entirely. Two very logical people can disagree about abortion. You can follow logic that says it's right or wrong. The older the moral puzzle, however, the more evolved and flawless our idea of it is...and that's not a coincidence.

That's why...morality is subjective.

Time: Plenty to Go Around

You don’t want to be here forever. Trust me.

Death is a fabulous thing. And not just for morale (gotta free up those resources for the folks who follow!), but because you weren’t made to be here forever. Sort of like a Kia. You’d probably get bored and figure out a way to make your hair look sexy without washing it, like Edward Cullen…and then what are you gonna do when someone nukes everything to hell? Or everyone around you devolves into fat, lazy, stupid fucks, while you remain wise and walking upright? Not to mention, all the guilt and emotional baggage you’d collect over the ages…eeks!

Nature prefers “do overs,” plopping new more adept creatures onto the planet, giving us all constant second chances and fresh starts, over one big life experience that would, by lack of design, fail.

We’ve Got Death All Wrong

That familiar, screenplay-worthy quest for immortality is pretty jacked up if you ask me. Time is your friend – not your enemy – and the universe has only given us a few reasons to believe it’s running out of the stuff.

Death is not Mother Nature’s punishment either, but something we need: if anything, the aging process weans us off the pleasures of this planet, so we're ready to go when our time comes. It’s almost like humans took a vote about what average life span made sense, and just all agreed to follow suit. Evolution is cool is like that.

Only with huge delusions of self importance, can we get terribly bummed out about the whole “death and dying” thing (as a concept, that is, not a personal experience).

Monkeys vs. Trees

You are a product of time, and couldn’t exist without it. You are even differentiated from other species by time. Case in point: if time sped up in front of your eyes and you got to see plants and trees live, grow, fight for survival, and die just like the rest of us (see: LIFE), you may not feel so good about making a salad out of them. That’s because they’re movers and shakers, just like you. They’re just moving and shaking at a much, much, much slower rate. On that same token, stuff can also happen so fast – like a bee’s flight or the speed of light – that we don’t see it.

Say a monkey scales a tree. When this happens, two distinct paces of life are at play: the tree grows and interacts with its environment so slowly that, for all practical purposes, it’s a comfy and safe piece of furniture, and the monkey, super animated by comparison, makes the most of it with his quick maneuvers.

We see these bonds in the human world, too. Time has given your boss an edge, but eventually you might hire your own staff, and get that edge back.

Go too fast or too slow, though, and you disappear.

Getting the Edge

Time has a greater impact on you than Mom’s advice, giving birth, making lots of money, or any other ‘event,’ because Time is every event rolled up into one. While we can’t control what part of the time line we’re on (well, so far), we can control the actual parts.

Once you realize this - that everything, I mean everything you see, do, dream, think, desire, or feel has repercussions - you can take advantage of your brain, your ability to predict and plan. We experience time as a linear thing, but we might as well lump everything that happens into one mind-boggling pile of Time. So, even your personal thoughts or decisions from the past turn out to be relevant, whether you remember them or not. If you’re a “good” person today and a “bad” person tomorrow, there will be effects from all your behaviors and decisions, both the good and the bad. That’s because you’re both good and bad, just at different times. The newer version of you isn’t a truer version, is it?

After all, is a marriage that ended after 20 years all that unsuccessful when compared to a happy, new marriage that hasn’t stood Time’s test yet? Everything counts. As the Gores have remind us!

We Were Here Pre-Twitter

Our time, while sufficient, is still limited. I can't get too passionate about things that didn’t even exist a few years ago. The way I see it is I’ve got all this wonderful time sitting in my lap (and what a 21st century bubble of leisure and luxury I’ve lucked out with), and I can be a smart human and take advantage of it…or…I can try to go as fast as everyone else.

And disappear.

You have DNA that goes back millions of years – listen to it! You have access to the history of the planet and the universe, which goes back even longer than that – read about it!

Stop overestimating the advice that someone on Twitter gave you. If you don’t have enough time to do things, maybe it’s because the things you're doing aren’t worth doing. Like spending all your time, borrowed from humans who have come before and pioneered the way for you, on a fad that will maybe last a year. Something so disconnected from your ultimate journey as a human being is not going to fulfill you. (And for the record, I don't think tweeting itself is a waste of time, at all, just like blogging and talking isn't. But what are you tweeting about, and why? If you don't have a great response to "why," maybe just stop.)

Everything you do counts, everything you do matters…whether you’re in denial about this or not. So, take your time with Time. Because it's the closest thing you'll get to an all-powerful trial and jury type God.

All’s Well

I’m not sure all is well that end’s well (if there really is an “end,” anyhow).

Maybe I’m still sitting in the backseat of the family mini van, dad driving, mom singing, Tim sleeping, and Mis and I bickering in between card games, headed to MeMaw and PawPaw’s. Maybe Ben and I are toasting to our 20th year of marriage. Maybe I'm crying because I didn't make it into Show Choir junior year of high school.

Even when humanity’s time finally runs out, though, I trust that nature will have made its selections wisely. And you should trust nature, too. Like you'd really know better.

Why You Care About Politics

I changed from an ignorant little conservative caterpillar into a know-it-all butterfly in college. Freshman year was when I first started to care about politics.

Like.

Really.

Fucking.

Care.

I’d fight tooth and nail to defend my uber-leftist views on everything from the president to where you – yes, you specifically – should shop. If you can believe it, I convinced all my roommates to boycott Wal-Mart for a good year or so. Or maybe they just steered clear of the retail giant because they knew I’d give them serious shit for it.

I was so happy with myself when I talked my dad into a corner about the environment (I got him all stirred up about global warming). He beat me in every other debate because he was super smart, and had so much history rolling around in his head. I wish he could read this blog today, just to say “I told you so.”

When it comes to politics, I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’m over it.

The tragic truth of the matter is none of us know what’s happening on Capitol Hill. Think that’s a huge stretch to say? Well, just take a look around. We’ll go from a small to big scale. If you work for a big company, ask yourself – do you know what goes on behind the scenes? In secret C-team meetings, gossipy Skype conversations between co-workers, and that dark hallway at the holiday party last year? No, you don’t. You’ll make up explanations for stuff, sure. Maybe half of your assumptions will be true, while the other half will be, well, half-true.

This is the case, at least, at the company I work for – and we employ less than 500 people. I realize our government’s not a capitalistic entity; well, it’s not supposed to be, but we’ll leave that for later (or better yet, never). But I feel like it's the closest-to-home analogy I can come up with at the moment.

Alas, I don’t think many people would disagree with the following: the government is massively more complicated than the company I work for; it has far deeper consequences to its actions; and it has way more powerful, rich people (with various special interests – their own, and those of their constituents/corporate lobbyists) at the reigns.

If you’ve ever known a friend, family member, or co-worker to cover up something naughty they’ve done, then you can reasonably assume your leaders have done the same thing…but with more money, and likely with more support from – you guessed it – powerful, rich people.

Take a time out to dwell on all the conspiracy theories that are floating around on the web, past and present; this process may give you the heebie jeebies. There are 34,700,000 pages that turn up on Google when you type in conspiracy. How many of these “theories” are just plain untrue? How many of them are half-true? And finally, how many of them are just distractions from the bigger, more scandalous picture? Starting to feel confused…a little overwhelmed? You should!

If you think about what a politician does these days, you could compare them to a sales person or marketer. It’s an inherently disingenuous and manipulative gig. Even if you’re the sincerest, most compassionate and principled person on planet earth, you’re gonna have to fib a lot (not a little) to get elected. That’s because you’ve got to get elected. Catch 22 much? If you shared your honest opinions or intentions about everything, you’d piss too many people off. Fact: there are a lot of people in America. About 300 million. That’s 300 million ways to destroy your political career. (Local politicians have the best chance at staying clean from corruption, don't they?)

As you try to wrap your head around all the different political players, you’ll get a tiny glimpse into the chain of communication and actions required to get anything done in this country. It's fucking intricate.

Should we form opinions about the world that we live in? Should we vote for the president? Should we vote on laws? Should you be outraged by injustice, war, and all the other evils of the world (necessary and unnecessary)? Should we give a damn?

Well, of course.

But maybe we should all step back and realize that politics isn’t black and white. It isn’t conservative and liberal. And at this rate, it’s just going to get even more perplexing as our country’s population and problems increase.

We pretend like we know what’s going on because it makes us feel better, gives us the illusion that we (the American populous) is in control.

Someone spouting off about how bad Bush is, isn’t all that different than someone preaching about heaven and hell to a non-religious type. Do I think Bush is a bad guy? Probably. But do I claim to really know what went on when he was in office? Hell no! I should never be so arrogant. My hunch is presidents are just the likable fall guys, and they have very little to do with anything. Again, though, I don’t have a clue. And I’m okay with that.

Are you okay with that?

Dear People Who Go To Spiderhouse,

Hey you, yeah you, the guy sipping a latte, one skinny jean clad leg crossed over the other because, you know, you're way cool with your sexuality. Maybe too cool. You probably spent 45 minutes posing in front of the mirror, trying to determine a way to cleverly clash different clothing materials and colors. It seems that with such an oddball collection of choices for your outfit - you're wearing a beret and a shirt from Hot Topic - you'd end up with something original, even inspired. But there's another guy just a pebble's throw from you who's wearing the exact same thing, except his shirt has an obscure movie quote on it.

Your hand's trying to sturdy the slightly lopsided patio table as you listen to a band called something mysterious like "Painted Ghost" or ironic like "Blue Scooped V-Neck T-Shirt." They suck. But you don't realize this. One of the guitar players is a friend of a girl you knew in high school, so you're naturally one of the band's groupies. It wasn't much to ask of you, though, to show up here and and whistle and clap at the end of every sucky song. You think the band's awesome. You think every unsigned band that's ever played in Austin is awesome. You might have an opinion about Britney Spears or Metallica, but god forbid you say anything critical about someone who's not famous, even though the very fact that no record label gives two shits about them should probably say something. You give a shit, maybe even five shits, though. You've never played guitar before (unless Rock Band counts), so as far as you know, your mutual guitar playing friend is destined for greatness.

Meanwhile, your girlfriend - the one wearing the gypsy skirt with shoes and shirt that totally don't match - is silently wondering if you're gay, because you stole her eyeliner and she can tell that you're wearing some of it (but oh so subtly). If only you were gay. But no, you're just... shutter... hip. Pay attention, though - your girlfriend is being checked out by approximately 10 guys who came to Spiderhouse completely alone; they're just waiting for an opportunity to express their opinion on politics or philosophy to a random female passerby.

While you're listening to "Sharp Pocket" or "Lightning Puppy" or whatever the fuck the crappy band's name is, a girl who spent just as much time thinking about her outfit as you, is sitting inside the cafe, studying for a massively important world history exam she has to take the next day. It would probably make more sense to stay at her dorm room or apartment to do this, or go to Starbucks or the library, which doesn't have live bands and drunk people, but then her carefully chosen get-up - the blue tights, Skechers tennis shoes, summer dress she had to wear to a wedding once, and silk scarf - wouldn't be seen by anyone who would appreciate it. Very soon, one of the 10 loner dudes will approach her and ask her what she's studying about. They'll have an hour-long conversation about World War II that's actually less interesing and insightful than a discussion on "Hannity and Colmes."

I'm doing this instead of cleaning.

Keeping up with a blog is not easy. Especially when you can tweet a mere 140 characters at a time instead. I am over Facebook status updates, too. If you're not tweeting, I have no clue what's going on in your life. Too bad then that most tweeters lack a life. And trust me, I know... they tweet about it.

Anyways, I have to clean. And I don't want to. So, I'm blogging.

Life has been super super busy. I might be a masochist because I just picked up another writing gig on top of my normal 40+hr a week job and TBF; we'll see how that goes. OH, and did I mention I'm now a part-time wedding planner? I tell you, I never thought about my wedding day until Ben proposed, and, well, I completely underestimated all that goes into the planning/funding. It's fun, but it's added to the plate. All those years, I was oblivious to wedding magazines, TV shows, and whatnot, and now, it's like... it might have paid off to pay attention! So glad my mom lives in town. Biggest decisions are gradually being knocked out of the way, though, so it's coming along. (Venue, date, dress, guest list... check!)

Conan is currently chewing on Montey's head and Guy is pawing at my shoulder. And everyone else in the world is at SXSW. I always conclude that it's not worth the time and effort to cover the fest (because Lord knows I'm not paying to go), but whenever it comes around, I can't help but miss it a little. Maybe next year? Eh, that's what I always say.

Now Conan's chewing on... something or the other. Did you guys see that episode of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" where the dog eats the little toy pony and has to go to the vet? Hehe. Well, I guess that story's only funny because the dog lives... I'm not worried about Conan, though. He can eat anything and be okay. Seriously. White-out, thumbtacks, paper clips, highlighters, Guy...

Most overused words/phrases/cliches in travel writing

We've all committed these travel writing crimes, (I, on a daily basis), but that doesn't make them justified.

1. Nestled
Just because a town or city is located in the mountains, doesn't mean you have to say it's "nestled" in them. In what real-life situation would you ever use this word?

2. Hustle and Bustle
Let me guess... you want to escape from it?

3. "Whether x or y" and "from x to y"
These phrases are so overdone and so poorly done. They're hard to resist, but try not to use them more than once per article/essay, and when you do use them, use them effectively.

4. Attraction/Tourist Spot
Say what it is, not what type of thing it is. If you're writing about a museum in a travel article, the museum is obviously a notable attraction... so, why bother saying it's a notable attraction? I mean, duh!

5. Must-see

6. Mecca/Hub

7. Fancy Adjectives
Instead of describing, just give concrete examples/details. It's better for the reader, and it's better writing.

8. There's/There are
Don't begin sentences with these words !!!! Like, ever ! (Okay, I know it's hard to avoid, but for god's sake, try.)

9. Best-kept secret

10. Passive verbs
When in doubt, go with action verbs!

Hint: take a cliched phrase or overused word and add your own twist to it.

Also, whenever you're questioning your writing, just make sure you're ultimately telling a good story. That's more important than perfect grammar or impressive vocabulary. Well, that's the whole point. Communication.

Valentines Day FAIL

Are you a sucky Valentine? Well, these guys are.

Chris Brown
What did she do to deserve that? Was she chewing Trident instead of Doublemint?

Adam Senn from "The City"
Hey, cheating is better than beating, so I'll give you that.

Lil Wayne
If you weren't a rap star, you'd be that guy in the club creeping out all the girls until eventually, at 2 am when the bars are closing, you nab the drunkest one, bring her home, and date rape her. Tip for all the guys out there: Don't tell a girl to call you so you can make it juicy for her. Because that's just gross. (Unless you're making a smoothie.) TMI, Lil Wayne! T M I !

The Guys on "The Real World"
I think these pictures say more than I could ever say. And I think if these pictures could speak, they'd say something like... "WE'RE GIANT DOUCHEBAGS!"

Spencer Pratt
You know you're a Valentines Day failure when... your attempts at romance end up on "The Soup." It also doesn't help if your object of desire has a nose job, a boob job, but no actual job.

Brad Pitt
SHAVE THE MUSTACHE. Inglourious Basterds is in post-production. And it is not the 70s. And you are not a child molester. Heaven forbid you are a child molester. If you are, tell Angelina to stop adopting, now!

Nick Jonas
Apparently, your Hollywood's latest heartbreaker. First, Miley Cyrus, and now, Selena Gomez. Just remember, your days of chasing Disney Channel tail will be over someday. Your curly locks may not always be around, either. You're totally gonna be Kirk Cameron in 10 years! I can see it now, "Left Behind: the Jonas Brother."

John Mayer
What can I say... I bet you write love songs and stuff, and I suppose that's romantic... but I think what you do is write loves songs for yourself and then you edit them for your current girlfriend. It was probably embarrassing that time when you accidentally sang "my body is a wonderland." (SORRY RAJ!)

Pete Wentz
Hey, one of the douches from "the Real World" is your #1 fan, so that says a lot right there. I think you're partially responsible for the emo fad lasting as long as it has! Guys - the trick is to take your girlfriend shopping... not shop like you're your girlfriend.

In conclusion, I feel sorry for your unlucky-in-love valentines.

And finally... to less interesting, personal stuff -- I'm trying to get back to blogging! Can you believe it? I'm not getting paid to write this! Oh, and yes... I'm engaged. So, this is pretty much the best Valentines Day ever!